Who is the Jesus whom you follow, and what difference does following Him make in your life?

By: Janelle Lara

If I approach this question honestly, I am faced with an unfortunate conundrum. Namely, that every response I come up with is severely lacking in some obvious way. 

My initial response to the question posed is simply, “because I have to”. But that is overly simplistic and insinuates coercion.  Similarly, “because I can’t not” insinuates the same AND is a double negative. Sigh, back to the drawing board.

I tried approaching it from a different direction. I wondered, how would I respond if I were asked about others whom I love in a similar fashion, like my kids? Somehow the question “Why do I love my kids?” seems easier to quantify. Well, because they are everything to me. Because my heart would break without them… from the moment I knew they existed, they were profoundly, deeply loved. And I know that this love does not, in fact, can not, come from me.

In a similar way, I follow Jesus because without him, I would be broken. He is everything. He is the one from whom deep love flows. Everything that is right about me, comes from Him. He has placed inside of me, like the love for my kids, a deep, profound, and abiding love for Him. He has found me. I am a sheep inside his flock and without him, I would be lost, helpless, and (maintaining the analogy) very soon no longer a live sheep. His love for me is so profound and has been revealed to me so deeply that I am compelled to return his love. 

I have no other choice, if I should wish to remain a soul intact, but to love the one from whom my soul emanates.

Regarding the Jesus whom I follow… it is likewise very difficult to put God into words. I hesitate to describe Him because, how can I not falter and all but insult Him when I am limited to human language? Alas, here goes. The Jesus whom I follow is the King of the

Universe, who has chosen to reduce himself down "to the form of a slave," as the scripture says, to make sure I do not perish. On a larger scale, I believe He did so to show the entire universe how deeply we- a stupid, lowly, devastatingly impaired species- are loved. He is the ultimate, loving shepherd. Indeed, He is also (and, despite His Greatness, has allowed Himself to be) the love of my life. 

The difference that following Jesus makes in my life, is that He makes me brave. I am naturally very fearful. I overuse my imagination and anticipate every possible bad outcome. In my daily life, He calms my fear and allows me to follow my path without being overcome by the darkness in the world. The more I learn, the more I cling to Him. Regarding my vocation, and deep desire for evangelization, He reminds me how deeply He adores all of His children. He calls me to go get them and bring them back to Him, but instead of coercing me (or them) He fills me with His deep, abiding love for them. 

Indeed, how can I not?